“Daddy, write about how I’m old enough to tell you what to write about.”
Well… since he put it that way.
I’m not the most emotional person when it comes to life milestones, but as we celebrated Brandon’s 9th birthday, I found myself feeling more reflective about the journey.
People always cautioned me before he was born to try to enjoy the ride, because it would go by in the blink of an eye.
It’s not that I didn’t believe them – but “time will fly” is an understatement.
I’ve done my best to be present and soak in the moments. Still, it feels like I went from not knowing how to hold him in my hands that first day to now not even being able to pick him up without risking a hernia.
Instead of holding his hand while walking him into places and waiting nearby, I’m now dropping him off to do his thing with friends (with a parent watching, of course) and coming back later to pick him up.
Wow. How did that happen so fast?
It hasn’t been perfect, but that was never the expectation. I always knew we’d make mistakes along this crazy ride, and I’ve regularly asked for that elusive parenting manual.
I’ve learned that raising kids is basically building the plane while flying it – and learning how to fly it at the same time.
I joke with people that the tone of this column is our family (though mostly me) trying to figure out parenting without screwing things up too badly along the way.
It’s not that I feel sad about him growing up. I’m truly enjoying the ride. I’m proud of the person he’s becoming, even if it’s happening faster than I’d prefer.
He’s learning to try new things and face his fears – something I still struggle with as an adult, if I’m being honest. He’s taken my saying, “It costs nothing to be nice,” and turned it into empathy and kindness for his friends, and even for people he doesn’t know, in ways that I genuinely admire.
He’s also a thoughtful big brother who humors the fact that a soon-to-be 6-year-old wants to tag along and copy his every move. While I could do without trying to figure out third-grade homework – or his lack of patience and frustration when he can’t understand it – it’s so much fun watching him learn about the world around him.
We’re at the point now where he’s teaching me sometimes as much as I can offer back.
He’s become my wingman at sporting events. He wants to be there before warmups and stay until the stadium clears out afterward, which makes sports I’ve watched for years feel brand new again because I get to experience them through his eyes.
Things feel different as a parent when you go from experiencing everything for the first time with your child to settling into routines. More, he wants to try to figure things out on his own before asking for help.
And that’s not good or bad – it’s just different.
For six years now, I’ve been telling our story of the ups and downs as I learn to parent here in this magazine.
And according to Brandon – who gave me this month’s column idea – I’m doing pretty well.
