“Daddy, if we order another one, it can get here this afternoon.”
That response from Adam after a toy he was playing with broke stopped me in my tracks. It wasn’t the request that caught my attention – it was the certainty behind it. In his world, if something breaks, another one can simply appear a few hours later.
Growing up for me felt different. I never felt like I went without what I needed, but being raised by a single mom for years, I remember waiting for things with layaway. Sometimes we would pick out bathing suits or shirts for the summer months ahead of time. They would stay at the store for a while until it was finally time to bring them home.
At the time, I didn’t think much about what that meant. I just knew that once we picked something out, it wasn’t instantly ours. There was a stretch of time between choosing it and finally getting it. And that stretch of time did something important – it built anticipation. It made me appreciate it more.
Sure, I can say that now. But I wasn’t a fan at the time. Like most kids, I wanted things right away. But looking back, that waiting changed how those things felt when they were finally mine. By the time I brought them home, I had imagined wearing them, thought about them and looked forward to them for weeks. They meant more because they didn’t just appear.
Now that I’m a parent, it sometimes feels like my kids are growing up in a completely different world. They don’t see shelves where something might sit for a while before coming home with you. They see Amazon and instant delivery. They ask to use my phone because they know that almost anything can show up at the door quickly – sometimes the very same day. That’s not to say we always select “buy,” because sometimes we just look, but the boys know the opportunity is there.
I’m not sure if that makes it harder for the boys to understand the difference between when they actually need something vs. when they simply want it. But it does make me think more about how to teach the value of waiting. I do know that it’s on us as parents to slow things down, because everything else has sped up so much.
We try to recreate that feeling in small ways. If the kids want something, sometimes we say no. Sometimes it goes on a list or we talk about it for a while. Sometimes we look for a sale. Sometimes they wait for a birthday or holiday. Other times they decide they want to save for it little by little, watching their progress grow over time.
What’s interesting is the things they wait for always seem to matter more once they finally have them. It’s not something that simply appeared – it’s something they anticipated. And anticipation has a way of changing how we see things.
My parents probably never intended those moments of waiting to become a life lesson. But looking back, they taught me something bigger than whatever item I was excited about at the time. They taught me that good things don’t always come immediately – and that the time spent waiting can make them even better when they finally arrive.
It’s a lesson I still carry with me today. And it’s one I hope my kids learn too, even if the world they’re growing up in rarely asks them to wait.
