I didn’t realize anything was happening until I started waking up in the middle of the night because I couldn’t stop worrying about mothers in Ukraine. How can they take care of their children during a war? And while I lay there, my legs would hurt. Like, both legs, top to bottom. I’d be up for a couple hours. Tormented by thoughts.
During the day, my hips hurt. So did my knees and ankles. And suddenly I was having trouble remembering things, like people’s names.
I also started to gain about a pound every week. It was alarming. I wasn’t eating any differently, and I was walking on the treadmill a lot. But still, I’d gain weight.
And then I interviewed Nick Sirianni in front of a live audience and while we were standing behind the curtain to go on stage, I thought, “I think I should feel something here.” My brain knew I should be feeling excited and energized and extremely happy. I knew it. I just didn’t feel it.
So I mentioned these symptoms to my OB-GYN at the time, and she confirmed that things like anxiety, joint pain, unexplained weight gain and lethargy were all part of menopause. She told me I could go a week not eating and still gain weight, and that was just the way it was going to be…forever. I asked about hormone replacement therapy, and she said, “Oh no, that causes breast cancer.”
I rejected all that. I instantly knew I wasn’t going to accept this would be my new life. So at my annual visit with my family doctor, I told her the same symptoms. She raised her head from behind her computer, rolled her stool toward me, looked me in the eye and said, “Marianne, there is so much we can do to help you.”
I had been worrying that my life was going to be completely different forever. Almost everything about how I felt – physically and mentally – had taken a turn for the worse, and it was looking like there wasn’t anything that could be done. I was determined to change that, but I was afraid maybe I couldn’t.
And here was this doctor saying I could. I almost cried. Instead, I whispered, “Thank you.”
She asked if I was ok going on hormone replacement therapy. But she didn’t have to ask because I already knew that new studies had debunked the reports from the ’70s saying it caused breast cancer. I started right away.
It’s been almost 2 years since then – I have taken estrogen in the morning and progesterone at night every day. A side effect of the progesterone I take is that it makes you sleepy, so I don’t wake up in the middle of the night. (I’m troubled by a lot of what’s going on in the world, but it doesn’t keep me up at night.)
I also don’t have leg pain or joint pain or hip pain. But I do credit stretching and working out with weights as helping there too. I also stopped gaining weight. I still eat pretty healthy – I don’t eat gluten, and I only eat sugar when I’m out. I just don’t gain anymore.
There’s so much to learn and know about menopause – things that could really help women feel good, every day. But so many people, including doctors, don’t learn about it. Until you start living it. Then you go on a crash course. Although, I think some women get stuck when their doctor tells them this is how it’s going to be forever. I’m so sorry for that.
I’m trying to think what the main message of this column should be: “Reject thoughts that the problems you have can’t be helped.” “Find the right doctor.” “Don’t be afraid to start HRT if a doctor recommends it.” “If you’re a man in love with a woman, learn about menopause.” “It’s really, really wonderful when you feel good physically and mentally.”
Yeah, that’s it.
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