“Daddy, you put the picture back up!”
For the first time since we moved into our home eight years ago, we finally painted our kitchen (don’t judge). One of the things we had to take off the walls before the work started was a framed picture that served as the center of our sign-in board at our wedding. It’s a picture of Sarah and I sharing a milkshake at The Pop Shop. The picture is surrounded by Post-its of well wishes and life advice from our guests, some who are no longer with us. We had it framed when we moved into the house.
It’s funny because for all the painting and work we finally did in the house, the wall looked even more empty to me until we put the picture back up. And Adam clearly noticed too – he was excited when we put it back up. It’s something I still look at every day to reminisce and smile. I read the notes our guests left. I look back in amazement (in a good way) that it’s been 10 years. It truly happened in the blink of an eye, just like everyone warned us it would. And while so much has changed, there is so much that is still the same too. It’s as vivid as ten minutes ago and yet the years in between are a blur at times.
When Sarah and I got together we were a bit older and had established ourselves professionally. We had separate homes, separate businesses, separate lives, but were driven together by our mutual love, respect for one another and intense desire to be together. We jokingly considered ourselves more of a “merger” than a marriage at the time, surrounded by family and friends.
Over the years we merged our habits and homes into one loving household and created a family. We’ve found a way to mutually respect our different passions (Sarah actually doesn’t care as much about sports as I do, while I don’t care for some of the shows that entertain her). And we’ve been able to build a home and family while raising two active young boys, doing our best to teach them life lessons.
But it hasn’t been without bumps and sacrifice. Neither of us imagined what it would be like to have a newborn and a toddler in a time of a pandemic – all locked in the house together 24 hours a day. Nor did we picture times of underemployment or unemployment while still providing for the boys to make sure they had everything they needed. And surely the idea of “in sickness and in health” didn’t have us thinking about all the challenges that come along with the sickness when you still have a family at home to care for. There have been losses of loved ones and births along the way as well. And through it all we have found a way to navigate the wide spectrum of emotions and reactions while doing our best to support the other.
So lately we’ve found ourselves reflecting on all that’s happened in these last ten years and all that the future holds. We look at both of our parents who have been married for many more years and have provided such a positive influence on how to work through the small (and big) frustrations that come with being an individual that’s half of a team.
Because that is how we view it. Sarah and I see ourselves as a team (Team Sarah to be exact). Each day, we try to divide and conquer every task and every obstacle (and occasionally divide managing the boys too). Sometimes that is far easier said than done.
But at the end of the day we do our best to not go to bed angry and to find a way to not speak past one another. That’s something we have had to learn, and something we are better at some days more than others. But we also know we aren’t perfect.
Every day we continue to work on improving ourselves and how our team works. But there is no one else we’d rather be with than each other. So here’s to the next ten years, and the ten years after that.
Read More “Making Time” by Jason Springer
