Time spent planning a wedding can be super stressful (or super wonderful?). We asked South Jersey wedding specialists to give us their thoughts on how couples today can make their weddings special and memorable – and enjoy the process when they do.
Participants:
Paula Lara, Executive Director, Collingswood Grand Ballroom
Lori Amery, Regional Sales Director, Ron Jaworski Weddings
Matthew Pivin, General Manager, The Mansion
Melanie Gaffin, Director of Catering, The Westin Mount Laurel
Thomas Stanimirov, Catering Sales Director, The Legacy Club
Cathy Gunn, Owner/Chief Executive Director, Cathy’s Catering
What to think about before the wedding
What to think about before the weddingWhen couples tour a venue, they’re mostly looking at the ballroom. At our clubs, we have pergolas and fire pits and different covered patios that are a part of the experience for guests, and those are often the most fun and active places for people to go. Definitely look at outside spaces, look at how things flow into each other, and see if you can envision yourself in that space.
Lori Amery
You want to plan for the worst day to love your best day. If your ceremony is supposed to be outside, where will it be if it ends up inside? You want to make sure the space for the backup plan is just as gorgeous and matches your vision, but can also hold your guest count.
Thomas Stanimirov
A lot of times, couples don’t focus on the complete picture. It’s really important to look at the whole picture.
Matt Pivin
When you’re touring a venue it’s really important that the person giving the tour asks personable questions about what your vision is for the wedding. When I’m touring with a bride and a groom, I love to introduce them to the executive chef or director of banquets, because, really, I’m not just selling the event space, I’m selling everything. I want them to feel how we’re a family here from the very beginning.
Melanie Gaffin
In catering, the first thing a couple should do is their homework. You can see most caterers’ packages and pricing on their website. Second, definitely schedule a tasting. I do every one of my tastings, and I’m not a cookie-cutter caterer. I ask all sorts of questions and want them to be very forthright in what they expect and what they know they love.
Cathy Gunn
Look for easy flow throughout the day. If there’s a ceremony, cocktail hour and then a reception, can guests get from one area to another easily? And where are the bathrooms located? Upstairs? Downstairs? Is everything in one room? Is it outside a room? That’s all super important.
Paula Lara
“You want to plan for the worst day to love your best day. If your ceremony is supposed to be outside, where will it be if it ends up inside?” – Thomas Stanimirov, The Legacy Club
Before you sign a contract
Always ask what the guest max capacity can be. And ask what is included in the venue. Is decor included? Are the chairs you’re seeing included, or are they an upgrade? Ask about payment schedules. Those are important items to talk about.
Thomas Stanimirov
Ask what’s included in that contract. Is everything built in, like service charges and taxes? What about linens, food, liquor? What about additional decor? What isn’t allowed to be used on property? We want to be as upfront as we can be ahead of time – that only makes the day better.
Matt Pivin
Two questions to ask: 1. Who will you be working with from beginning to end? When someone tours with me, I work with them through all the details, and I’m there the night of the wedding. 2. Is there a minimum count? We don’t really do minimum counts – I don’t care if you have 100 or 200 people. We do have a food and beverage minimum, so if your counts are down from what your originally thought, we enhance the menu. Both of those questions are important.
Melanie Gaffin
Many couples think when they give you a tentative guest number, they’re locked in. But with me, they can maneuver that number up to a few weeks before. So make sure there’s flexibility on your end and theirs. Also be sure you know what exactly the contract covers. Is the cake included? Are you going to help us plan? Do you have a maître d’?
Cathy Gunn
Be very clear on what the cancelation policies are, because you never know what might occur. And look for hidden fees. Are there any upgrades that might cost a little bit more than they thought, like lighting or signature drinks.
Paula Lara
Ask about the nitty gritty: What is included in the package? What are add-ons? What is the minimum? What’s the backup plan for an outdoor ceremony? What is the cancelation policy? We are here to make the day beautiful and wonderful, but we have to make sure we are in a mutually agreeable situation.
Lori Amery
“Couples want to be non-traditional: no garter toss, no bouquet toss, no receiving lines, no saying hi to every guest. Everything their mom wants them to do is what they don’t want to do.” – Paula Lara, Collingswood Grand Ballroom
Timelines for booking
If you want a Saturday in our peak season: 12 to 18 months. But if you’re flexible, there are always options. We offer micro-weddings and non-peak dates. When you get your pictures back, nobody is looking to see what day of the week it was. And the food tastes the same on a Thursday as it does on a Saturday.
Lori Amery
If you’re looking for a Saturday or a specific day during the busy season, you’re going to want to look 18 to 24 months in advance.
Matt Pivin
12 months is good. Some couples call nine to 12 months before, which is really unheard of.
Paula Lara
It is never too early. We have weddings booked to the end of 2027. I only do one wedding a day so call as early as possible. You don’t want to be someone’s third wedding of the day – that’s very important.
Cathy Gunn
Couples should reach out to us after they get engaged. Don’t wait. We book anywhere from 12 months to two years out, sometimes more. But we also are booking brides and grooms who got engaged three months ago, and I put everything together for them in less than three months.
Melanie Gaffin
I have seen couples contact us 18 months to two years out. But then I’ve also had couples contact us three or six months out. Once the couple knows what their budget is going to be, that’s when they should reach out to us. But if they have a specific date in mind or even a season in mind, I would recommend 18 months out, if not more.
Thomas Stanimirov
“Couples should reach out to us after they get engaged. Don’t wait.” – Melanie Gaffin, The Westin Mount Laurel
A new wedding trend
Brides and grooms are enjoying the full experience of a wedding celebration weekend, not just a five-hour reception. We offer a bridal ready room all day, where we do mimosas at breakfast and lunch. It starts the whole celebration. The night before they have the rehearsal dinner. Then the ceremony and reception, and our bar is open until 2 am for the after party. Guests take the elevators to their rooms, and they have a farewell breakfast in the morning.
Melanie Gaffin
Martini bars – espresso martinis are really hot right now for signature drinks. Another trend is bringing hobbies into the wedding. So if you’re a bicyclist, you incorporate bicycles into some small detail.
Paula Lara
A lot more couples are making their wedding more personable. They’re adding something to the day that the bride and groom can say, “Oh, this is our thing.” Like if they love cars, they have little cars as their seating cards. Or if a couple is really into farming or gardening, they have honey jars as their favors to go.
Thomas Stanimirov
Couples want a more laid-back, more relaxed atmosphere. They don’t want guests sitting waiting for their tables to be called – they want an easier flow. I enjoy that more as well. I mean, it just makes it more comfortable for everyone.
Cathy Gunn
Some of the most popular trends we’re seeing is dropping the formalities and traditions, and going with what’s personal. So we lean into the couple’s personality, maybe their guest book is a jersey of their favorite sports team that everyone signs or they have interactive activities like a portable photo booth, scent bars and tattoo bars.
Matt Pivin
Wedding trends continue to be different every year. It’s experience over tradition now: specialty cocktail stations, late-night active food stations. At Valley Brook, guests can hit golf balls off the driving range. These are the things people go home and talk about.
Lori Amery
“When you get your pictures back, nobody is looking to see what day of the week it was. And the food tastes the same on a Thursday as it does on a Saturday.” – Lori Amery, Ron Jaworski Weddings
A trend on its way out
Couples want to be non-traditional: no garter toss, no bouquet toss, no receiving lines, no saying hi to every guest. Everything their mom wants them to do is what they don’t want to do. Those trends are completely out.
Paula Lara
Overly rigid cookie-cutter timelines are out. People are not worried about having to do this, and then I have to do that, and then I have to do this. They make it their own. They’re making sure the day feels personal and isn’t following a template.
Lori Amery
Couples are dropping the bridal party being so big, and we don’t have as many family member introductions. The cake cutting also isn’t a big ordeal anymore. We now do a private cake cutting with just the couple.
Matt Pivin
Rustic is flowing out again. That farm-to-table look is just not as in right now as it used to be.
Thomas Stanimirov
Nobody is really doing those little candles or shot glasses or picture frames, all those little chachkas that people used to give for party favors. They’re simply not doing them anymore. Now everything is more personable and interactive.
Melanie Gaffin
People are steering away from formal. And more people want fresh flowers and candlelight, nothing fake. When I walk into a room and there are real candles or fresh flowers, I think “Yay, it’s real!” It makes such a difference.
Cathy Gunn
“Many couples think when they give me a tentative guest number, they’re locked in. But they can maneuver that number up to a few weeks before.” – Cathy Gunn, Cathy’s Catering
Creating an unforgettable wedding
Make some things interactive – give the guests something to do. Add in a game or have a project at the table that everyone can make together. Before, it was: Here’s your cocktail hour. Here’s your reception. Here are the formalities. It was basic. Sometimes giving guests something more stands out.
Thomas Stanimirov
One way to make guests feel special is to have a picture of just you and that person at their place setting. The picture could be from when you were a baby or last year. Put a personal note from you with it. Write the notes throughout the year while you’re planning your wedding.
Melanie Gaffin
A lot of couples bring in a sketch artist for their wedding day. They pinpoint a moment and then create it throughout the night, so it’s not just a photograph they’re working off of. It’s actually the movement of the night. It’s a cool feature that people can look and see the progress.
Paula Lara
An unforgettable guest experience is just making it personal, so guests can experience the bride and groom in a way that maybe they didn’t know them. Maybe it’s cornhole during cocktail hour, sitting by the firepit or having an engraved glass or bottle as a favor.
Lori Amery
You should always draw on the couple’s personalities. I had a gentleman who loved cheesesteaks, and he wanted me to go over to Angelo’s in Philly for his meal at the wedding, so that’s what he got. We had another couple who met over Ben and Jerry’s, so we’re getting Ben and Jerry’s for their ice cream bar. There are many simple ways couples can create the best experience. Bring in something that belongs to you two.
Cathy Gunn
Add all those special niches that are traditional to the couple, like a pet toy, personalized mug or lottery tickets. We can also do food stations at the end of the night, so guests have that last memorable experience when they’re walking out the door.
Matt Pivin
“Some of the most popular trends we’re seeing is dropping the formalities and traditions, and going with what’s personal. So we lean into the couple’s personality…” – Matt Pivin, The Mansion
A wedding detail they’ll never forget
Instead of doing a guest book, one bride bought a calendar and asked guests to put in their important dates, whether it was an anniversary or birthday. She asked them to put all their monumental moments into that calendar, so she would never forget them.
Thomas Stanimirov
I always bring the bride and groom into the ballroom right before the end of cocktail hour. I want them to take five minutes alone to smell the roses, to take in the room and take in the whole atmosphere before anyone else is there. The night goes so quickly, it can feel like a whirlwind. I want them to take it all in.
Melanie Gaffin
One of the most special things that I remember to this day is when guests were asked to send in their first dance song from their wedding when they RSVP’d. During dinner service, they would play those songs, and the couple was asked to come up and dance. That was really, really nice. And any time I see a private last dance for the bride and groom it’s always super memorable. We ask all the guests to leave the room, and we play one more song for the bride and groom to dance to, when no one else is there. They can take a deep breath and just embrace each other.
Matt Pivin
One bride brought in a keyboard and sang to the groom right after introductions. She made her own song and actually sang it to him. It was one of those true-love things. It didn’t matter what she sounded like, he loved it.
Paula Lara
The escort card display gets guests to their table. No big deal, right? But some people turn it into an experience, and that really sets the tone. One couple had a wall with little bottles of limoncello from their trip in Tuscany, and they had their escort cards on there. It was very outside-the-box, but it’s a personal touch that sets the tone for the evening.
Lori Amery
Reflecting your personalities at your wedding
Some couples come in and they’re like, “I don’t want a lot of bright flowers.” I’ll ask them “What do you hate? What do you love? Show me.” And even though they may not see what they love on my menu, they should tell me. I want to know what they think is special.
Cathy Gunn
I had a couple who met at an Eagles game. During cocktail hour, we had an ice sculpture of the Eagles logo, and then at the end of the night, we gave soft pretzels and Tastykakes to guests on their way out the door. I love when we can grab something that’s so personal and reflect it on their special night.
Melanie Gaffin
There are many ways a couple can reflect their personality at their wedding: through their seating chart or seating cards, a signature drink they name after their dog or favorite sports team. And we offer an ice sculpture, so some couples will speak with our ice sculptor and customize that to show their personality.
Thomas Stanimirov
A bride and groom can add their special touch to the day in many ways. One way is to include their family and friends in the special parts of the day, like the introductions and dances.
Matt Pivin
One of our grooms loved riding bikes, so the bride found the cutest little holders for the table number that was an actual bike made of metal. It was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s always awesome to take little accent pieces and incorporate them anywhere you can.
Paula Lara
Skipping traditions that don’t fit your style is ok, especially when you find things that make it more personal to you. Maybe you take a favorite family recipe and see if the chef can reproduce that dish. Tell your guests what you’re doing so they have the experience too.
Lori Amery
Guests’ dietary restrictions
Today, we have dietary restrictions at every wedding. Couples ask on their wedding invitation for any dietary restrictions. That way the couple can tell me they have 6 gluten-free and 12 vegan guests plus one vegetarian. We will make separate platters for those guests.
Cathy Gunn
Our chefs build our menus to be really flexible – we can accommodate pretty much anything. If we know in advance that you have 18 guests with dietary restrictions, that is always helpful. But if something comes up on the evening of, we can accommodate it.
Lori Amery
When it comes to the main course, we make sure we have the guest name, table number and their dietary restrictions. Everyone will know we have someone at table four who is gluten free and allergic to carrots. And we make sure they get a special meal.
Melanie Gaffin
How we handle dietary restrictions at The Legacy Club is actually very easy. There are items that we can make vegan or dairy free just by changing out the cheese to a vegan cheese or using oat milk or almond milk. It’s actually a lot easier than most people think.
Thomas Stanimirov
Our caterers have it under wraps, where they can still make things flavorful and presentable and meet any dietary restrictions.
Paula Lara
One of the first things our staff will do after introducing themselves at the table is ask about any restrictions or allergies. Those are then reported directly to our chef’s team, and they make sure we accommodate as much as possible.
Matt Pivin
Advice for an engaged couple
Nobody is going to leave your wedding and go, “It was such a great wedding, but did you notice the color of the napkins was a little off from the bridesmaids’ dresses?” So enjoy your journey.
Lori Amery
Make planning the funnest year of your life, because that one day comes and goes. You really want to soak in all the moments.
Cathy Gunn
Compromise. Write down what’s important to the bride and what’s important to the groom. What is something you won’t compromise on, and something you will?
Melanie Gaffin
It’s you two versus the world. Make decisions together. You two are a power couple now.
Thomas Stanimirov
Pick your bridal party wisely. Keep it small and simple, and use your support system.
Paula Lara
Instead of just thinking about that one wedding day, look at the year or two when you’re building the wedding. Have fun during the entire process.
Matt Pivin
